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 Are You Going Through Dark Nights?
Lisa, an elementary school teacher, will tell you she has personally and dramatically
experienced the sentiment of this Scripture (at the end of this article).
Due to an unforeseen illness, she walked on the very edge of death and
saw God’s
watchful eye upon her life in deep and mysterious ways. Her doctors concur
that the healing of her body was nothing less than a miracle–“a
brand new life” given to her. Lisa continues to experience the refining
work of God’s hand as the challenges of sight impairment make their way
into her life. She cannot physically see as she once did, but there’s
no doubt that God has brought incredible healing to Lisa’s spiritual
sight–in ways she would never trade for 20/20 vision.
Have you in the past, or are you currently going through
“dark nights of the soul”? As you read of Lisa’s
journey through those times when her future seemed darkest, give
thanks to the Lord for his healing power and ask him to speak to
you of his great love and intimate care for your precious soul.
For support and encouragement during difficult times of physical,
emotional or spiritual struggle, contact Care Ministries at 763-971-5123.
Lisa's Story
In September 2002, in the midst of preparations for another school
year I became sick. Three days later I was admitted to the hospital.
Little did I realize that it would be the last time I would see
my students that year.
I was diagnosed with meningitis and given the appropriate care,
however my condition only worsened. By October, the infection had
spread from the lining of my spinal cord to the brain itself. By
mid-October, the doctors and my family made a decision to air lift
me to the Rochester, Minnesota Mayo Clinic.
Due to the pressure on my entire central nervous system, I had
many complications. It was questionable whether I would live and,
if I did, in what condition would I be. Many people prayed for
my life during these days. After 10 days of high steroid treatment,
I started showing some signs of improvement.
Sleeping Beauty
I felt like Sleeping Beauty, though I don’t think I looked
much like her at the time! My parents and doctors told me it was
November and that I was a medical miracle. My last memory was of
school in September.
I “woke” up to a dark world…literally. Due to
the extended pressure on my brain, there remained many complications
to the visual cortex, optic nerves and cranial nerves of my eyes.
I was severely visually impaired.
My first reaction was a quiet sigh of wonder. I had almost died.
I could have opened my eyes and seen Jesus! But as the days rolled
on, this new reality became such a paradox. Back in September,
in addition to teaching, I had been following what I felt was God’s
direct leading to graduate school in Chicago. My application was
halfway completed and I believed God had spared my life and gave
me what I needed for his purpose. All I could determine was, “I
must not need my eyes for what he has planned for my life. But
what is that plan now?”
Places Only Jesus Can Accompany Us
Despite these strange turn of events, I continued to believe God
loved me and was with me. My only hope was to simply trust him.
This conclusion was met with many tears in the middle of the
night while I recovered in a brain trauma unit.
Whenever my mom or dad needed to leave the hospital at the end
of a day, I tried not to cry. I knew they needed rest and would
be back in the morning. Though I was an adult, I felt like I was
six years old, fighting back the tears each time.
It was during these nights I would have typically turned to read
my Bible for comfort, but now I couldn’t even see to read.
Instead I tried to remember any verse from memory. Psalm 23 came
to mind-I had memorized it as a child at Bible camp. It was
my comfort. “In
the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear for You are
with me.” Then I would fall asleep, knowing it was time to
rest in my Shepherd’s arms and be restored.
It was there that I learned there are places only Jesus can walk
with us.
God’s Provision Through a Friend
One day I received a CD from a friend who had heard about my illness.
I had never heard of Bebo Norman, but as I listened to the first
song I was so refreshed. I felt like I was alive again. The songs
played on in my mind and spirit throughout the day.
While listening to the song, “Great Light of the World,” I
was overwhelmed with a flood of tears. I felt the physical, emotional
and spiritual reality of the words. They expressed the unspoken
cries of my heart. At first, I just cried out to God from my hospital
bed.
As I was able to move my arms and see a little better, I replayed
the song and lifted up my arms in worship. God continued his healing
touch and in a few weeks I was able to stand. I would then kneel
beside my bed, lift my arms in worship and sing in his presence.
A few times I was too weak to get back in bed and had to call for
a nurse to help me back up. Still, today, I can’t hear that
song without remembering those nights in the hospital with Jesus.
Experiencing Miracles
God healed me in miraculous ways to the glory of his Great Name!
In place of my impaired physical vision, he opened the eyes of
my heart to see him in new ways. He’s taught me things
I never would have seen before. Though there are many uncertainties
in my future, I continue to trust him with the simple faith of
a child, in the same way I did in those moments in the hospital.
"God the Father has
his eye on each of you, and has determined by the work of the
Spirit to keep you obedient through the sacrifice of Jesus. May
everything good from God be yours!
What a God we have! And
how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus!
Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given
a brand new life and have everything to live for, including a
future in heaven–and
the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and
the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all–life
healed and whole.
"I know how great this makes you feel, even
though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the
meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure;
genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine.
When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold,
that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. You never
saw him, yet you love him. You still don’t see him, yet you
trust him–with laughter and singing. Because you kept on
believing, you’ll get what you’re looking forward to:
total salvation.” –1 Peter 1:1-10, The Message
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