Carolyn courageously shares her experience in allowing Christ to bring healing to her life as she dealt with abuse that occured in her past as a teenager. Although the process is never pleasant, she testifies to the amazing power of Jesus and the Holy Spirit to reach into the dark, wounded places in our lives in order to restore and revive us.

Carolyn's Story...
On July 2, 2003 I attended a mid-week prayer meeting lead by Pastor Steve Loopstra at New Hope Church. He asked us to turn in our Bibles to Mark 5, the account of the woman who reached out to touch the hem of the Lord's garment and was subsequently healed. Pastor Loopstra encouraged each of us to reach out and touch the Lord for what we needed that day. As we shared around our circle, I spoke of some "safe" areas of my life with the others I'd just met, but I didn't share any deep needs openly.

The following day at my annual physical, a nurse practitioner and I spoke of my medical history. She asked me if I'd been sexually abused. I told her that as a teenager I'd been raped but I'd done a lot of emotional and spiritual work in dealing with and healing from that event. She told me she believed that our physical bodies could still carry the effects of such trauma.

The next day, on July 4, a close Christian friend shared some major wounds she'd received as a teenager and I shared the experience I had with the nurse practitioner the day before. On my long drive home that evening from the North Shore, I was listening and worshiping with a cassette by Bob Fitts called, "Comfort Ye My People" As I listened, I began to pour out my heart to the Lord about the emotional trauma of the rape and how I felt about it through my outrage, anger and tears. Alone in the car, I was free to get it all out before the Lord, choose to forgive my attacker for the depth of wrong and evil done to me, and take it all to Jesus. I sensed the Lord's peace and comfort and continued home.

A short time later, out of the depths of my being, there came an almost spontaneous cry, just like the woman in Mark 5 who reached out to touch the hem of Jesus' garment, I cried, "Lord, heal me! Jesus, heal me! Help me! Make me whole!" My heart was reaching out to Jesus, but my mind struggled with unbelief. I confessed my unbelief to the Lord that He could even heal me from the physical effects of the rape. Very soon after that I heard the Lord speak to me through his Spirit saying, "You are healed." Just like He'd assured the woman in Mark 5:34 that her faith had made her well, He said, "Go in peace and be healed of your affliction" I cried a lot and then praised the Lord.

The next morning, I questioned whether the Lord had healed and spoken to me, so I submitted those words I'd heard to God and tested the spirit behind them as I John 4:1-3 teaches. The Holy Spirit confessed the Lord Jesus Christ and confirmed the reality of God's physical healing on my life.

Since that time God has asked me, "Do you trust Me with all your heart?" After experiencing such a breach of trust in the past, I had been reluctant to allow God to be my Defender. Slowly, He provided opportunities to test His trust. Even in recent days, He has been so kind as to affirm my value as a woman; something that had been lost. The reality of God's healing in my life has been confirmed as I find myself relating in new ways with men. God has graced me with a greater sense of confidence, freedom and self-respect than I've ever known before.

I praise the Lord that He can do what is impossible with man and do exceeding abundantly beyond all we ask or think. He deserves all the glory and praise for He is Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals! Hallelujah! He is alive and the same yesterday, today and forever!

Do you have emotional or spiritual scars? We'd love to walk alongside you in the process of letting the Lord bring healing and restoration. Contact Care Ministries at 763-971-5123 for more information.